Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Day Our Lives Changed

It was a beautiful Monday morning. I was driving into work, admiring my new route since we moved into our new home. We moved into an area that is still filled with green pastures, farms and a very small town charm. It's almost like a time warp. Our community is newly developed in the middle of the countryside. Only 12 miles from work and 5 short miles from civilization. It's very refreshing and appealing to be immersed in nature. I consider myself more of a city girl, but I just might be a country girl at heart. Sometimes when driving down the old beat up back road, we stop to watch the cows graze and baby calfs follow their mom & pop around the pastures.

On this particular day, Monday, May 13th, I stopped to take a photo of the sky. It was remarkable, rays shining through the clouds, it really serves as a reminder to me how great our God is. Although the photos really never capture the incredibleness of the moment, I posted it on Facebook with a caption that read "This is the day that The Lord has made, let us rejoice in it". That was truly what I felt in my heart looking up at the sky and feeling an overwhelming sense of well being at that very moment.

A few minutes into the drive, I started thinking about a friend who struggled with infertility over the years and recently had an adoption literally fall into her lap. It was a gift that fell from the skies above. After years of the awful pains of infertility she finally had her take home baby! I thought to myself, if a baby fell into our laps, like it did for her, I would do it, I would adopt. I didn't have what it took emotionally (or even financially) to go through the standard agency adoption program. Not that I wasn't open to adoption, it was just the idea of investing another year into setting up a profile, waiting for a match and then hopefully bringing home a baby. After spending the last 4.5 years in the infertility trenches, the idea of investing ourselves into the adoption process just wasn't appealing.  

A few hours into my work day, I went to my lunch time yoga class. After returning to my desk, I found a message from my dear friend and coworker, Libby. She was asking if I knew anybody that wanted to adopt, as there was a crisis situation that needed potential adoptive parents immediately. It was a local teenage girl who was going to terminate her pregnancy if she didn't find someone to adopt her baby, right away. My friend reached out to me specifically because she knew I had a strong presence in the infertility community and could reach out to a large audience rather quickly. I read her message and immediately reflected back on my thoughts that morning, during my commute. Could it be possible that my "prayers" we're answered that quickly?! I replied without hesitation, and then immediately contacted Frank to see what his thoughts were. He agreed that we simply couldn't turn our backs on the situation and should explore the possibility further. I was instantly put in contact with the birth-moms mother. We emailed and then spoke on the phone the following day. We decided that it was best that we meet-up and share a meal that upcoming weekend so we could discuss the situation further.

It was a long week, I was so nervous and anxious to meet Halie and her mom. I was hoping they loved us, we loved them equally as much,  and there would be a connection between Halie and I. In the interim, I just sat in awe over what had occurred and all the writing on the wall. When I asked for more details, I had an email forwarded to me which had a subject line "update on Kim's daughter" (Kim is Halie's mothers name). The day I spoke to Halie’s mom, Frank received an email at work, with his company sending an explanation of ......adoption benefits. During that week, I also found out that Halie’s due date was Dec 25th. Not to mention, Halie’s mom, the facilitator of all of this, worked directly across the street from my work! All of this couldn't possibly be coincidences. Gods fingerprints were all over it! 

On Sunday May 19th, we met Halie and her mom Kim for dinner. They are both very kind and sweet souls. We shared stories and got to know each other a bit. I left there feeling somewhat relieved that a major hurdle was over but now it was time to wait again. Halie had an appointment scheduled with an agency. Her mom felt it was important that she explored all options. Agencies can offer some additional benefits over private adoptions. They have access to tons of resources and added benefits that you might not be able or offer legally in a private adoption. Of course there is also hefty price tag associated with that, so while we wanted Halie to do what was best for her, we also knew that an agency would be out of the question for us if she decided to go that route. Her appointment was scheduled for June 1st. Before we parted, I gave Halie a letter I had written for her, and we said or good-byes.

The waiting phase had begun, and while I was eager for the day to come, so Halie could decide which path she wanted to pursue, I wasn't feeling anxious at all. I felt calm and at peace. During this waiting phase, I had been in  contact with both Kim and Halie...via email and text, multiple times.

On Tuesday, May 21st, only a couple days into the wait...I received a text from Halie’s mom asking if I could talk. She called me shortly thereafter and started crying before I could really understand what she was saying. Earlier that day we were emailing and she let me know how worried she was if Halie didn't choose us, she knew how heart breaking that would be and she didn't want to see that happen to us. I immediately thought the worst and my heart sunk to my stomach. Imagine my surprise when she blurted out "Halie wants you and Frank to be her baby's parents!" 

Tears began flowing, I was so overjoyed! I couldn't believe it, Halie decided already and we wouldn't have to go through the treacherous two week wait! After 50 some negative cycles, it was the first time I received great news during a two week wait!

"Prov. 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Prov. 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will direct your paths."

Halie and her mom want an open adoption, that means that she will get to be part of the baby’s life. To what extent has yet to be determined but we will come up with a trust agreement that everyone feels comfortable with. She is currently 10 weeks along. This means I will get to be part of the entire pregnancy! Attending appointments and bonding with Halie. This is a dream come true for me! I love how perfect her situation and ours are a beautiful match made in heaven!

It's going to be long road with many ups and downs, we are both fully aware of what a volatile situation we are dealing with. This might frighten some away, but I believe that regardless of the situation, God will protect our hearts. When you are faith filled, there is nothing to fear. 

We are going to be parents! God had a special plan for us all along. He was never telling us no, he was simply saying "not now". Please join us on our journey as Gods perfect plan unfolds. Our baby is growing in Halie’s belly and in our hearts. What a beautiful precious gift we will receive!


  1. Oh Kim, I am just sobbing... it totally brings me back to first finding out about Josie, and what an amazing moment that was for putting all the pieces together. I am so happy your pieces are finally coming together as well. God is good.

  2. Oh my gosh, I have major chills and tears!! What a miracle and a blessing. I am so happy and excited for you guys!!!! This is amazing! Continuing to pray for you all!

  3. Oh my god, Kim!!! This is so exciting! Congratulations! Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way!!! <3

  4. You are very inspiring. Thanks a lot for sharing.

  5. Kim-
    Wow... This is so awesome, what an incredible gift!! I am so very excited for you!

  6. this is amazing!!!! i'm so happy i will follow your journey!!

  7. My heart is joyous for you Kim!!! This had me bawling like a baby for you!! God is a good God! All the time; sometimes just when we are about to give up, we see that He has had a better plan all along. How very exciting and wonderful for you and hubby! I will keep you in my prayers. How wonderful that you get to go with her to the dr appointments too! So amazing!! Thank you Lord!! Hugs!!

  8. Kim. So literally tears are pouring down my cheeks. This post spoke to me in so many ways. I've followed you for a really long time and I've always seen you as a woman of a faith, handling even the worst with dignity and grace. More than once you've given me courage to press on through this infertility journey.

    Today you gave me another boost. You can do this. I can do this. God is good and GREAT things are in store.

  9. Oh my gosh, I just have goosebumps and tears of joy for you guys! Such an amazing blessing and I'm so so so happy and excited for yall!! God is so good!!

  10. Wonderful, wonderful news!!! I can't wait to follow the great things that will happen in the next few months. xoxo

  11. Great news! I'm so excited for you! :)

  12. Hi -- I just read this post ( on Leah's blog therefore am "happily spoiled" knowing how your story stands as of today. CONGRATULATIONS to you and your husband, there are so many blessings in this world... I am hopefully going to read all of your blog in one sitting, (then continue as you continue to post, obviously) but I am already sending more prayers and good thoughts to you and your family ::HUGS::

    I unfortunately do not have any children yet, but my only sibling delivered her first baby boy on September 27th so I am now a very proud aunt to a handsome little boy who is two and a half months old and WOW, time goes FAST!!!